Let Me Be Weak

Photo courtesy of a1ik on sxc.hu

Sometimes life is hard. It’s unavoidable. We were never promised a life without hardship. As a matter of fact, the Bible tells us just the opposite. Jesus warned us we would face trouble in this world. What He did promise us is that though there would be trouble, we could take heart because He has overcome the world (John 16:33).

There have been many days when I felt sure the weight of living this life would crush me. And so often, I find myself striving in my own strength and relying on things of self: knowledge, independence, determination, endurance, and sheer will. In the natural world, these aren’t necessarily bad qualities. But, in my spiritual walk, these same qualities sometimes become stumbling blocks.

Something occurred to me the other day as I was thinking about this. What if it’s not about being strong? What if He doesn’t want me strong at all? What if what He desires of me is willingness?

…willingness to trust Him when everything falls apart.

…willingness to be obedient when it doesn’t make sense.

…willingness to love Him, even when we aren’t getting our way.

…willingness to lean on Him, rather than trying to do it all on our own.

…willingness to believe in Him, even when the world says we are crazy.

…willingness to rest in the fact that we may never understand His ways.

…willingness to seek Him daily, despite the distractions of the world.

…willingness to put Him first, above all else.

…willingness to die to our selfish desires, and live for Him instead.

…willingness to praise Him in the midst of the storm.

…willingness to believe in His goodness, despite our circumstances.

…willingness to accept that our lives are not about us, our happiness, or our comfort, but about His kingdom, His glory, and His plan of redemption.

…willingness to abandon ourselves to Him wholly.

…willingness to rely on Him completely.

 He doesn’t want us strong.

 He wants us willing…

Relying on my own resources of strength, knowledge, and determination causes me to be self-focused rather than focused on the all-powerful, ever-faithful, and all-sufficient King. If being strong means I don’t need Him, let me be weak. If being wise means I don’t seek Him, let me be dumb. If being rich means I don’t need Him, let me be poor. If being independent means I never experience relationship with Him, let me be dependent. If being self-sufficient means I will never come to know what it is like to be wholly dependent upon Him, let me be ever aware of my deficiencies. Because it has been through my deficiencies that He has revealed His all-sufficiency. It has been in my moments of greatest weakness that He has revealed His mighty power. It has been in my moments of need that He has revealed His faithfulness. May I always have a spirit that is willing to rely on Him wholly, completely, and without reservation.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” ~Psalm 51:12 NIV

A Grand Experience: The Invisible Hand

We were on the final ascent. Day four was to be a grueling five thousand foot climb up to the Canyon’s rim. It had been a long trip and my body was weary. Twenty-seven miles were behind us. There were only three more miles to go, but I knew they would be the most physically demanding miles of the whole trip.

Large boulders mocked my five-foot two frame as I struggled to overcome them with a thirty-five pound pack on my back. The trail, consisting of loose rocks, left not only my footing but also my confidence uncertain and unsteady.

To my left was the canyon wall, and immediately to my right was a two-hundred foot drop off the side of the canyon onto boulders below.

As we came to a particularly challenging area for me, my husband offered his assistance.

“Just please don’t let me fall,” I exclaimed.  

With steady assurance, he responded, “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ve already been doing that. I’ve had my hand on your pack the whole time.”

His reply to my request surprised me. Without my knowledge, he had been supporting me, keeping my back pack steady so that I wouldn’t lose my balance and fall to the right.

Because I was unable to see him, I had not been aware of his hand guiding me as I ascended the Canyon. Because he had placed his hand on my backpack, I couldn’t feel his hand protecting me from falling off the edge.

I was totally unaware of him, but he had been there all along supporting me, protecting me, and guiding me.

I couldn’t help but think of God in that moment. Because we can’t see Him, touch Him, or feel His physical touch, we are often unaware of His protection and guidance. We feel as though we are all by ourselves, struggling up the mountain and trying desperately to not stumble or fall.

Yet, all along He is there. His invisible hand guides our every step.

Our job is to keep walking in faith, trusting He is there even though we cannot see Him. Our job is to keep climbing, trusting He will supply us with the strength we need for our journey. Our job is to keep moving, even though we stumble, trusting He will not let us fall. Our job is to keep seeking Him, worshipping Him, serving Him, spending time before Him, and trusting Him, no matter what. Our job is to do our part and then trust God to do His.

 “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT

A Grand Experience: Pushing Through The Fear

Twenty-two beautiful and fairly uneventful miles were behind us and only eight more left to go. The beauty of the canyon enveloped us, awe inspiring views in every direction.

As we set off on day three, the chance encounter with a group of fellow hikers the night before kept running through my mind. Traveling in the opposite direction from us, they alerted us to the treacherous terrain that lay ahead.

I knew it was going to be a difficult day for me, but I had no idea how difficult until I found myself frozen with fear, standing on the edge of a cliff in the Grand Canyon.

At times, the trail waned, leaving only enough room for one foot at a time, but most of the time it was at least wide enough for two feet. Immediately to my left was a 45 degree slope of loose shale about ten-feet in length. At the end of that slope…nothing but a 2000 foot drop to the Canyon floor below. And to top it all off, the ground underneath my feet was not even level and was also made up of loose shale.

With each step I took, my bent toward clumsiness taunted me. Certain that at any moment the trail would send me plummeting to my death, I chose each step slowly and methodically. There was no room for error. At. All.

Unlike my husband, I am not an adventure junkie. As a matter of fact, I have always been a fearful person. I have a long list of fears and fear of falling to my death definitely tops the list.

Sometimes I allow fear to dictate my actions, choosing not to engage in activities that push me outside of my comfort zone. Other times I choose to press past my fear in hopes the benefits will far outweigh the discomfort I may experience.  

However sometimes, we don’t have a choice. Sometimes, we are placed in a situation where we might normally allow fear to have its way with us, but because there is no turning back we have to push through it. And that is exactly where I found myself as I stood on the ledge; too scared to stay where I was and too scared to keep going. My fear begged me to stop, but my circumstances demanded that I move on.

Standing on the hairline trail that day, I had to push through my fear. There was no turning back. I had to keep moving forward. I couldn’t enjoy the view to my left or my right. I had to keep my eyes focused on the ground beneath me, carefully choosing each foot placement. I had to remain calm. I couldn’t allow panic to rise up in me or I would find myself in a worse predicament.

In those moments on the ledge, one particular scripture kept coming to mind with each step I took:

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:2-5, 16 NIV

I found some comfort in this scripture as I inched my way forward on the trail. I found some comfort knowing that He knows my going out and lying down, my sitting and my rising. And oddly enough I even found comfort in the knowledge that all the days were ordained for me before one of them came to be. He knew the precise moment I would be standing on that ledge and He knew how it would end.

What powered my forward motion that day was faith. Faith in His word, in His character, and in His sovereignty. Faith that no matter what happens, He is at work. Faith that no matter the circumstance, He is there. Faith that no matter how great my fear, my God is greater. Faith that no matter the end result, He is still God and He is still worthy of all my praise.

 Putting one foot in front of the other required every ounce of focus, determination, energy and prayer I could muster. Sometimes life is that way too. We find ourselves overwhelmed by circumstances and fear of what ifs. We can’t turn back and yet we are too afraid to move forward. It is in those moments we have to stand on our faith, put one foot in front of the other and leave the results to Him.

A Love Story

“I am my beloved’s, And his desire is for me.” Song of Solomon 7:10 NASB

It was beautiful fall day. The sun shining, not a cloud in the sky. Worship music playing on my iPod in the background. The aroma of coffee thick in the air around me. Basking in the joy of it all, I sat in the busy Barnes and Noble café, attempting to do some writing, when a couple in the parking lot caught my eye. Immediately drawn to them, I found myself unable to look away.

Standing in the parking lot, unashamed and obviously unaware of the world around them, their embrace lingered for what seemed like eternity. This wasn’t any ordinary hug. It wasn’t even a romantic hug. This hug had depth. Watching them, I sensed softness and gentleness in this embrace. It seemed to provide of place of comfort, rest, and security.

I watched as he cupped her face in his hands. Their love radiated from them as the sun from the sky. His intense, yet soft gaze beckoned her to him and she eagerly received him.

I wondered about them. What’s their story? Are they a new couple, caught up in the fervors of new love? Are they a long time married couple? What led them to this loving moment in the parking lot?

As I continued to watch this man pour his love upon this woman, I couldn’t help but think of my Heavenly Father.

I imagined Him standing in front of me, gazing into my eyes. His face radiant with His glorious and unfailing love for me. Taking my face into His hands, He brushes away every tear, every hurt. And we just stand there in each other’s presence. No words are necessary. All anxiety washes away in those moments. His mere presence overwhelms me with rest, hope, and peace.

His love envelops me. It enraptures me. It engulfs me. And I eagerly succumb to Him.

There is no awareness of myself any longer, only of Him who stands before me. He has my full, undivided attention. The rest of the world falls away.

His words wash over me like a gentle, warm summer breeze. He calls me his beloved. He tells me that He is mine and I am His. He tells me that nothing can separate me from Him. He promises that He will never leave me or forsake me. He claims me as His bride and offers Himself to me as the bridegroom. He assures me that my future is secure in his hands, that my heart is safe with Him and that He is ever faithful.

But, this isn’t just a daydream. It’s real and it’s mine. And if you believe in Him, it’s yours too.

 

Believe Him. Receive His words to you. They are a love letter direct from His heart to yours. Let Him romance you. Welcome Him with wild abandon. You won’t ever regret it. His love has the power to transform, to redeem, to restore. His love changed me and I will never be the same. Bask in the glory of His love today.

Jesus, I love you. Thank you for your sweet, tender and gracious love for me. I pray that everyone will come to know the love you long to lavish upon them. I can’t wait for the day we meet face to face. What a day of celebration it will be. Until then, I will wait with bated breath to be reunited with you.

Question #6

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

Name 5 things you are grateful for today:

Mine:

1. My sobriety
2. My relationship with God
3. My husband and stepson
4. My friends, family, and church family
5. The teaching pastors at my church

Ok, spill it…what are you grateful for today?

Question #5

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

What is one of your most embarrassing moments?

I’ll go first:

When I first started dating my husband, I went to meet him in a local coffee shop. When I walked in the door, I noticed he happened to be sitting beside a girl I knew. As I introduced them, I realized I introduced him by the wrong name. Embarrassed, I quickly apologized and re-introduced him by what I thought was the right name. But, yet again I had said the wrong name. Except this time, it did not even occur to me I had still not gotten his name right. A few seconds later, he introduced himself by the right name. I was mortified. What’s worse is it wasn’t our first, second or third date. Plus, I wasn’t dating anyone else at the time either. I just had a severe brain lapse. But, in spite of it all he still married me. Amazing, huh?!

 

Now it’s your turn…Tell me all about it.

 

 

Question #4

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

 

It’s no secret that I love books. I truly, deeply love books. Seriously. Maybe more than I love coffee. I know. Scary.

I don’t read a lot of fiction. When I peruse the book aisle, it is typically the Christian inspiration aisle. There are so many books, I love. But when I started thinking about this question, there is only one book that really stands out.

Here’s the question:

What is the one book that you most often recommend to others?

Here is mine:

Hands down, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers!

Your turn…Ready? Set? Go!

Question #3

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

What is your greatest fear?

Me: Not being good enough…

Now, it’s your turn again…

Question #2

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

If you could do anything in life, knowing you would not fail, what would it be and why?

Me: My passion is sharing the message of God’s power to redeem and transform the most broken life. If I knew that I could not fail, I would write full-time and travel the world speaking to women, encouraging them in their relationship with God.

Now you….

Question #1

I am currently on my 4-day, 28-mile hike through the Grand Canyon. While I am away, I would love to get to know more about you.

Welcome to a week of questions…about you!

 

Here is our first question for the week:

Name 5 things you would find it hard to live without.

Here are mine (not in order):

1. Coffee
2. Books
3. My Bible (not just any ole book, you know)
4. My quiet time in the mornings
5. My faith

Now, it’s your turn. Let me have it!

And the adventure begins…

The journey to the Grand Canyon has officially begun. I made it to Atlanta around this 3:30pm this afternoon. I will spend the night in Atlanta with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law tonight. Tomorrow morning, the three of us will make our way to the Atlanta airport to depart for Phoenix, Arizona. By 1:30pm Thursday, I will meet up with my husband in Phoenix, where we will all pile into a rental car and set out on our drive for the Grand Canyon. We will spend the Thursday night in a hotel and then on Friday morning, our official adventure, a 4-day, 28-mile hike in the Grand Canyon, will begin.

We expect to cover 12 of the 28 miles on Friday, all the way down into the belly of the Canyon. The following two days, will be shorter in distance, but I am not sure of the exact mileage. And then on Monday, we will cover around 4 miles as we make our way back up to the rim.

I have been incredibly busy lately and the blog has been incredibly neglected. I have so much swirling around in my head that I desire to get on paper, but I have no time to do it.

I could not fathom leaving the blog unattended for 9 days, so I have a plan.

It is a great opportunity for me to get to know you all better. I have arranged for a random question to be posted each day that I am away. I won’t be able to read or respond until I get home, but I can’t wait to come home and hear what each of you had to say.

I would also like to ask for your prayers for health and safety for the six of us on our journey. A couple of us, including me, are feeling a tad under the weather. I am pretty sure I am fighting with a sinus infection and unfortunately they usually win. But, I am praying that my body will overcome so that I may enjoy the beauty of the Canyon with my husband, family, and friends.

I can’t wait to come back and read all about you all and share about our adventure in the Grand Canyon. I pray you all have a fun and blessed week!

 

 

Short Term Gain, Long Term Pain

We live in an age of instant gratification. And the more technologically advanced our world becomes the more impatient we will likely become. We are accustomed to information at our fingertips in seconds, microwave food, drive-thru windows, and next-day shipping. We want it all, and we want it right now.

I admit I struggle with patience. It is not one of my strong points. I simply don’t like to wait. But I’m not talking about a grocery store line type of waiting. It’s deeper than that. When I was single, I hated waiting to meet someone worth marrying. When I face marital challenges, I want instant resolution. When I see character flaws or sin in my life, I desire instant transformation. And so I fuss and fight and try to have things my way and in my timing.

Want the rest of the story? I am writing at Exemplify Online today.

Will you…?

How do you handle tragedy, unmet expectations, disaster, hard times, disappointment, or unfulfilled desires? Do you blame God? Do you feel like God is picking on you? Or do you lean into Him more, knowing He is the only one who can get you through it? Do you trust in His character and the promise of His word?

If you have lived in the world for any amount of time, then more than likely you have at some time experienced deep disappointment, loss, or heartbreak. More than likely, you have dealt with the frustration of unmet expectations or unfulfilled desires.

You might have even watched with envy as the lives of those around you seem to move along with ease, never experiencing the pain, loss, and despair that you have.

It’s easy at times to want to blame God for what is going on in our lives. It is easy to think He is picking on us. It’s easy to get angry at Him because, after all, He is the one in charge of everything, right?

One of my favorite movies (of all time) is Facing the Giants. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a cry baby. I cry. A Lot.

I cry when I am happy.

I cry when I am sad.

I cry when I am mad.

I cry when I worship. Every time.

But even though I am a crier, there is no movie that can make me go through a whole box of tissue in one sitting.

Except this one.

When I watched this movie for the first time, I was struggling with being single at thirty-four years old. I was caught between my desires for a husband and my desires to allow God to be enough. I was battling to surrender my desires to Him and to trust in His timing and His plan. And, I was trying to not get frustrated and isolate myself from the only One who could ever truly satisfy me.

There are so many amazing scenes in this low budget film. So many scenes that speak to my heart, so many that I love. But this one scene moves me more than any other.

I remember sobbing as I watched that scene for the first time. It was as if in that moment, God asked me, “Chrystie, will YOU love ME even if…? Will you choose Me above everything else?” And right there in my bedroom, blinded by tears, I answered Him, “Yes, God. I WILL love you…even if…”

It wasn’t easy. It required an almost constant conscious recommitment. It meant dying to self, and to my own desires. Sometimes daily. It meant trusting His character and in His plan even when I didn’t understand or like it. But, I have never regretted it. And I pray that I always choose to love Him, no matter what.

Is He talking to you today? Is He asking you the same question?

Will you choose to love God even if…? Will you choose to love Him, no matter your circumstance?

I promise, if you choose Him, you won’t regret it.

 

Father, there are so many in this world who are hurting, lonely, and frustrated. I pray that you will comfort them today with your love and your companionship. I pray that they may be strengthened by your presence and the promise of your Word. Help them to know your love for them so intimately, that when the chance presents itself, they will choose to love You even if…

Double Blessings

On this day two very special men were born…

The first man is my daddy. I am a daddy’s girl through and through. He has always been there. Always.

As a young girl, I was his sunshine. He worked hard to provide for us. He instilled good values and a strong work ethic. He gave me a solid Christian foundation even though I departed from it for a while.

Through the bad times, he never left my side. Ever. He never gave up on me. He practiced tough love at times, but it was always love. He suffered alongside me. He fought with me. He fought for me.

Today, as a married woman, he is probably my biggest cheerleader. He is still always there encouraging, challenging, listening, and praying.

We have had many amazing years together! He is a great man. And I love him so much.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!!!!

The second man is my husband. Two of the most amazing men born on the same day. How could one woman be so blessed?

Wow, what can I say about my hubby? He is everything I prayed for in a man. He is a true gentleman. Trustworthy, dependable, and respectful.

His goofy and playful nature provides balance to my introspective and slightly more serious nature. He is able to bring out the playfulness in me with ease and has provided me with so much laughter in such a short period of time.

His optimism and outlook on life are a breath of fresh air. He is supportive, encouraging, and loving.

I love his heart for God, family and friends. I love his generous spirit and adventurous nature.

He is an amazing husband and I am so blessed!

Happy Birthday, baby! I love you!!!

I Remember…

 

I remember sitting in a crack trailer by myself with a stranger…for hours.

I remember the roaches crawling all around me, but my desire for the drug overpowered my fear of the bugs surrounding me.

I remember the desperation, the hunger, the vast chasm in my soul.

I remember the shame, the regret and the sorrow.

I remember what it was like to know everything within me was screaming to stop, but the beast was more powerful.

I remember trying to drown the voices of reason in my head.

I remember trying to reach a place of nothingness where everyone and everything faded away…including me.

I remember the pain, the loneliness, and the confusion.

I remember being at odds with everyone and everything around me.

I remember the chime of church bells across the street from me greeting the parishioners as they entered to worship a God I hated.

I remember the ache within me every time I saw a sunrise.

I remember trying to drink myself to death.

I remember the night everything went black and I thought it was finally over.

I remember the gun waving frantically around the room and everyone scurrying to escape, but I was unable to run.

I remember the look of disappointment on my father’s face.

I remember my mother telling me I could stay for the night, but I had to leave the next morning.

I remember stealing candy bars so I could eat, knowing every dime I had would be necessary to feed my habit.

I remember standing in line with all of the other junkies at the methadone clinic…every morning.

I remember the fear of facing a single day without methadone.

I remember the day God saved me from that life…I wasn’t seeking rescue

I remember hating everything to do with religion, even after He saved me from addiction.

I remember callously using His name in vain…in every sentence.

I remember going to church only to appease my father on Father’s Day and Christmas.

I remember the physical feeling of repulsion as I listened to the sermons.

I remember Him wooing me, beckoning me to Him.

I remember the softening of my heart.

I remember choosing to go to church.

I remember the first time I sang Amazing Grace…by choice.

I remember the day He spoke to me.

I remember exactly where I was sitting.

I remember what I said in response to Him.

I remember surrendering to Him.

I remember the church playing the song, When God Ran, on the day I was baptized.

I remember feeling as if He chose the song, because I was a prodigal and He did run to me.

I remember feeling overcome with His love on the day of my baptism.

I remember being lifted from the water and hearing the words, “…raised to walk in new life with Christ.”

I remember that being the sweetest sound.

I remember what life was like without Him and that creates within me an insatiable hunger for Him.

But what is more important than any of that…He remembered me. He remembered me when I was lost, broken, and hopeless. He remembered me in the pit and He will remember you too.

It is because I remember what He has done for me that I cannot stop speaking about Him.

It is because I remember the grace, mercy, and love He bestowed on me when I couldn’t care less, that I am passionate about Him.

I pray I never forget.

 

Blog Carnival: Go check out other posts on the topic of Remember at Peter Pollock’s  place!

Our God Will Come

Do not fear

Our God will come

He’ll restore those He has ransomed

He’ll make a path that’s straight

He’ll prepare the way

Our God will come

Our God will come

We sang these words in church today. With each word I sang, the longing within me grew deeper, more intense.

I long for Him.

I long to be in His presence.

I long to be restored to Him.

I long for His coming.

This could be easily misunderstood as discontentment with my life, but that isn’t true. I have a good life, great friends and family, a great church home, a fabulous husband and stepson.

Paul says in Philippians 3:7-9, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him…”

So while I have a great life, it all pales in comparison to Him. There is a hole in my heart that only He can fill. There is a longing within me that cries out for Him alone.

This morning the words of my mouth sang, “Our God will come. Our God will come,” but the words of my heart said, “Come Lord Jesus. Come quickly. Come to us.”

Lord, I long for the day that you will restore us to you. I long for the day that you will come for us. I long to see your glory. I long to be in your presence. I know that day is coming. I do not know when or how, but I know you will come and I can’t wait.

Root Rot

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 NIV

With utmost sincerity, a hint of desperation, and a heaping helping of confusion, I mumbled, “I just need to know what my role is. I need to know what is expected of me.”

I have said these words more than once and as soon as I said them the other day, all of the times before flashed before me. It was as if God held a mirror in front of my face and said, “Look. This is something I want you to see. This, I want you to address.”

Unrest settled into my spirit. I knew something was wrong with the statement I made but I wasn’t exactly sure why or what to do about it. Once again, I felt the fire of God’s refining process, molding me into what He desires me to be.

Over the next couple of days, I talked about and prayed about my situation. And little by little, God revealed to me some not so pretty truths about myself.

When I looked back at the times in my life I have said those same words, it was almost always during a period of change in my life.

I said it after I married my husband.

I said it after I changed jobs.

I said it as a new step mom.

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like a bad thing. I desire to meet and exceed the expectations of my boss. I desire to be a great wife, step mom, youth leader, daughter, sister, and friend. Dressed up, it might be called people pleasing. But, when you dig deeper, it is a festering infection wrought with self-centered fear. It is born out of fear of loss, fear of not measuring up to the standard or expectations of others, fear of conflict, fear of what others might think, fear of not being liked. The list could go on and on.

At the very least, the result of this self-centered fear, manifested as people pleasing, is exhaustion from trying to please everyone in my life and a lack of peace that comes from finding my identity in Christ, rather than in my roles. But deeper and more unsettling than that is this: if I am always focused on living up to the expectations of others, I am failing to live up to my true potential in Christ.

John states in John 12 verses 42-43, “Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him (Jesus). But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.”

Even, in Christ’s day, people conformed to the world out of fear, pride, vanity, and the desire for approval of man.

So what’s the solution to finding our identity, value, and worth in the roles we play or in the approval of others? How do we avoid defining ourselves by the world’s standard?

Honestly, I am still seeking answers to this question. But, I believe at least part of the answer lies in Colossians 2:6-7. “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

Matthew Henry states in his commentary on these verses, “The more closely we walk with Christ the more we are rooted and established in the faith. A good conversation is the best establishment of a good faith. If we walk in him, we shall be rooted in him; and the more firmly we are rooted in him the more closely we shall walk in him: Rooted and built up. Observe, we cannot be built up in Christ, unless we be first rooted in him.”

When my identity and worth is rooted in my role as mom, wife, daughter, writer, or success by the world’s standard, I am likely to suffer from root rot. When those roles change, as everything in life does, I am likely to be uprooted and tossed about by the wind. But when my identity is rooted and built up in Christ, I am rooted in the only thing in life that truly gives my life meaning and purpose.  In Him, I am firmly established. In Him, I am secure. In Him, my roots grow strong and deep and the rest of my life is nourished. In Him, I am complete. And when my identity is rooted in Him, I have no need for the approval of man.

Father, I am so grateful that you love me too much to leave me as I am. I am grateful for the lessons you teach me, as uncomfortable as they are at times. I pray that you will transform me with this truth at a core level, so that my life may be rooted and built in you alone.

Our Next Adventure

 

 

 

 

The countdown is on.

Our next adventure is exactly 4 weeks away. Excitement, apprehension, and anticipation for what is to come overwhelm me. I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, the sights and sounds I will see in 4 weeks will leave me in awe of God’s immensity, his handiwork, and my smallness in lieu of it all.

And I can’t wait.

In a few short weeks, we will find ourselves hiking the South Kaibab, Grandview, and Tonto East trails in the Grand Canyon. Day one consists of hiking all the way down into the belly of the canyon from the south rim. The next two days we will hike along the belly of the Canyon and spend each night overlooking the Colorado River. Our final day we will ascend back up to the south rim.  The four day hike is a total of 28 miles.

I have already read that scorpion stings are fairly common and to say I was less than thrilled about this news is the understatement of the year. I am NOT a fan of creepy crawly things. However, I am hopeful that the beauty of the Canyon will overshadow any disdain I have for God’s less appealing creatures.

I would like to ask for your prayers for safe travel and safety as we hike. I can’t wait to share the tales of our adventure with you all when we return.

All beautiful pictures were taken by Ian Parker. Be sure to go check out his amazing photos.

Blog Love

I haven’t been blogging for long. Maybe around 8 months? But in that short period of time, I have “met” some pretty amazing people. Each one of them have become a part of my day, my life. Some of them make me laugh. Some of them provoke tears. Some of them challenge me to grow. Some of them encourage me with the cyber friendships and encouraging words. But they have all become near and dear to me.

It is my desire is to highlight these bloggers today and to encourage you to go visit each of their blogs. Most of them are also on Twitter as well!

Warren over at Family Fountain: Warren stumbled across my blog somehow almost from the beginning and ever since then he has been a consistent source of encouragement for me. I can always count on him to drop by for a visit and provide an encouraging word. Warren’s blog, Family Fountain, is full of wisdom and encouragement on a variety of topics such as marriage, parenting, divorce. He has also just published his first book, Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems From Proverbs . I encourage all of you to stop by Family Fountain for a visit.

Sande over at So To Speak: Sande also came across my blog one day and I will never forget it. The very first comment she left on my blog was nothing short of divine timing. They were words I desperately needed to hear. Thank you, Sande.

Maureen at Mo’s Marathon: Let me tell you! I love me some Mo! She is so much fun and I love reading about her experiences in Israel, her passion for ministry, and the lessons in Hebrew! If I ever get a chance to realize my dream of going to Israel, I will definitely hope a visit with Mo is included!

Lindsey at Lindsey Nobles.com: Lindsey is precious. She is one of my favorite blogs and I am always excited when she posts something new. She is always relational, engaging and fun. I thoroughly enjoy that about her.

Alece at Grit and Glory: There are just some people that you feel instantly connected to and Alece is one of them. I have never met her in person, but I hope one day we can have the chance to hang out. Her passion, depth, and desire leap off the page. Each word is dripping with longing for Christ. I love that about her. Every single blog I read by Alece touches me, inspires me, connects with me. She is awesome. Make sure you go check her out at Grit and Glory.

Cindy at I Saw God Today: Cindy is another one of those that just somehow happened upon my tiny sliver of space in the internet world and I am so glad she did. She is like an instant girlfriend. One that I am sure we could just giggle and be silly and act like girls together.

Heather at Heal the Wound: Heather is one of the few I have had a chance to meet in person. She is a beautiful woman and the light of Christ radiates from within her. It was such a pleasure to meet her this past year at the She Speaks conference and I am hopeful that we will be able to connect again next year.

Joe at Count It All Joy: Joe is yet another source of encouragement. His kind words always come at just the right time. I am so grateful to have “met” Joe in cyberspace!

Beth, Amanda and Melissa over at The LPM Blog: These ladies add so much to my life. It is usually a highlight of my day. I can count on them for laughter; joy; a couple of “Hallelujah’s”, maybe a “Glory” or two, and a few “Amens”!

I have been blessed, encouraged, enriched, and challenged through the blogosphere. Today is just a little way to thank you all.

Too Good To Be True?

“Nothing in life is free.”

“If anything is worth having, it is worth working for.”

“If you want something in life, you have to earn it.”

These statements resonate within me and are the bedrock upon which my work ethic is built. And while they are true and useful in the natural world, those same ideas don’t translate well in the spiritual realm. Rather than deepening my faith, they often serve as a stumbling block.

Over the years, I have developed a keen awareness of my propensity to seek love, acceptance and worth through work. To me, those things are just one more thing in life I must earn. When my hard work results in validation, I am good enough. And when things don’t turn out well, I am not good enough. Whatever the end result, it is always a roller coaster ride of emotions and at the center of it all is self.

So when it comes to the good news of the gospel, the free gift of salvation paid for in full by the death of Christ, I struggle. I believe God’s word. I believe He loves me. I believe Christ died for me. But actions always speak louder than words. And my actions indicate my belief that I must work to please God, to be “good enough” for Him, to earn His love.

But Romans 5:8 says, “…God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” He didn’t do this as a result of my actions, but instead out of his great love. Period. I had nothing to do with it. It is not something I earn. It is not something I deserve.

Why the struggle to believe this? To trust in the good news that Christ’s death has covered us? Is it because it just seems too easy? Too good to be true? Or is the struggle born out of our own sense of self importance or the desire to believe we in some way earned His favor?

Shortly after feeding the five thousand, Christ is approached by a crowd asking him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” And then Jesus answered them by saying, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” (John 6:28-29NIV)

That’s the work of God? Believe in Christ. Could it really be that simple? Surely there is something I must do, right? Yet God, because of His divine knowledge of the human bent toward pride, set it up this way so that we cannot boast about anything we did, but only what He did for us. It keeps us humble. It stretches our faith. It beckons us to trust Him and to depend fully on Him, rather than relying on our own self-sufficiency.

God’s love isn’t conditional. It isn’t based on my actions. It isn’t based on whether I am a good person or a bad person. It really has nothing to do with me at all. It is solely because of His great love. And He exhibited that love for me, for you, for the entire world, by sending His son to restore our relationship with Him. That’s the good news of the gospel. And by trusting in that, I can find rest for my soul.

“As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’” Romans 10:11 NIV

 

Lord, thank you for your love. Thank you for the gift of grace. Thank you that Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes. (Romans 10:14 NIV)Thank you that my job is to trust in the one you sent and that when I do so, I will not be put to shame, but will instead receive the right to become a child of God (John 1:12 NIV). I pray that you show us how to rest in what has been given to us through Christ. May we always be defined by the gospel. I love you.

(Participating in today’s blog carnival at Bridget Chumbley’s blog, One Word At A Time. Go visit her blog here and enjoy reading all of the posts.)